• In this chapter, we will look at how Christians sometimes go on Satan’s errand and further harm victims. Are some scriptures in the Bible used to silence victims and let the guilty go free? Can our sin prevent us from seeking justice for others?
1. Introduction 2. The World Is A Battlefield 3. The Church: A Feast for Oppressors? 4. How Did We Become Victims? 5. How do victims communicate? 6. Being a victim of an offense and victimhood 7. Learned Helplessness 8. Victim-blaming 9. God’s solution to sin 10. How Satan uses the Bible to force us to submit to him 11. The Good Shepherd 12. Victimhood as a weapon 13. The Victorious Christian 14. Practical exercise towards freedom. 15. Restore your trust in God. 16. Why God allows difficulties. 17. Church Tribulations 18. Final Victory 19. Afterword
There are real victims and real hurt. To a lesser and greater degree, everyone is a victim of someone. It would be hard to go through life and not, at some point, be the victim of another’s sin. At the same time, most of us have done wrong toward others as well. In no way does this justify or excuse their or our behavior. Many Christians fall into the trap of a lack of empathy because Christ told us to forgive others as He forgives us and «not to judge or we will be judged». We know we have sinned, and so we feel we are forced to look away when others sin in the hope of forgiveness for ourselves.
Such was the case with David. He had slept with another man’s wife and indirectly caused his death, followed by deep agony and repentance. When his son later violated his half-sister, Tamar, David must have felt the hypocrisy of the thought of judging and sentencing him for his crime when he himself had been forgiven by God. So, he did not judge him, and by doing so, he further violated his daughter, who would feel worthless in it all. It says: «So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom’s house» (2. Sam.13:20). Tamar’s spirit was killed. The one word, “desolate,” describing her situation says a lot. Nothing more is said about her, and this is the last we hear of her. One word is all we get, that she «remained desolate».
David’s other son, Tamar’s brother, was filled with anger over the lack of justice. He watched her «desolate» in his house. He hungered for justice, but it never came. For two years, he waited, and then he decided to take matters into his own hands and kill his brother.
David’s hesitation to act because of his sin brought him even more misery than he could have imagined. His sin eventually cost him four children. His baby, his daughter’s mental breakdown, his firstborn son’s death, and his other son rebelling and then getting himself killed in the process.
As it was with David, so it is with us. If we are conscious of our sin, we are less likely to demand justice when others sin. This happens at the cost of new victims. Satan knows all about this loophole, and he uses it to bring sin into the churches.
If no one dares to judge or interfere when injustice is done, the church can easily become a paradise for perpetrators. What is supposed to be a haven on Earth becomes a house full of predators. Satan is keeping everyone’s private sins alive by reminding them of them repeatedly, even though they have been atoned for. Once we are broken by it, he can introduce others who sin similarly, and we will not feel right judging them. Although we seek to change ourselves, the one we permit to sin might not.
When Christ said, “not to judge to not be judged”, it was not against the punishment of crimes. Naturally, crimes must be paid for. A willingness to take responsibility for our sins is therefore the best way to demand that others take responsibility for theirs. In a way, this is what David did. He was open about his sin; he humiliated himself before everyone with his transparency and repentance. This caused some to think of him as pathetic and dislike his leadership. But by humiliating himself, he at the same time took away other people’s excuse to commit his crimes. He did not make his sin seem lucrative or tempting. Had he hidden his sin, he would have justified others’ sin. If he was not punished, it would be justified that no one else was. God did punish David along with the forgiveness as a warning against David’s sin. Still, while dealing with his sin correctly and trying to do the right thing, his sin did prevent him from seeking justice for Tamar.
In David’s story, we do not see perfection, but we learn a lot about cause and effect. To be in a position to judge injustice, we need to also be willing to be judged ourselves. Here, we can regain the power to act when injustice is done. It is hypocrisy that destroys. If we do not allow others to hold us accountable, we can not hold others accountable.
To strain at a gnat, and swallow a camel.
Many of the damaging sins are not the most obvious. On the other side, the larger issues are often neglected, and instead, a culture of judging little things emerges to compensate and give churchgoers a false sense of righteousness.
In everyday life, people are quick to judge each other on every little, small thing to feel superior after feeling small because of greater issues. It is truly destructive for relationships, churches, and society when a group feels “holier» than others and criticizes others’ small mistakes at every opportunity. They are like parasites, they live off «sucking the life out» of someone else. They feed off finding fault in others. Their whole self-esteem is built on pushing others down. They can’t find their worth unless they demean others’ worth.
This way of elevating others resembles caricature illustrators, who exaggerate people’s characteristics to create a comical version of them. This is how very critical people view others; they think they are seeing the truth about them, but they are just exaggerating and overly focused on small things, letting it cloud their understanding of others. Although the caricature drawer’s exaggeration of people’s physical characteristics has a base of truth, the image is still a lie.
Jesus said: «Why do you notice the splinter in your brother’s eye, but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own? How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me remove that splinter in your eye,’ when you do not even notice the wooden beam in your own eye? You hypocrite! Remove the wooden beam from your eye first; then you will see clearly to remove the splinter in your brother’s eye» (Luke 6:41- 43)
Christ is not here speaking of letting rapists, abusers, bullies, thieves, and murderers go free. (Rev 22:15; Gal.5:21) He is talking about the smaller things that need to be addressed the right way. Many use this example from the Bible, but then forget the last sentence: «Remove the wooden beam from your eye first; then you will see clearly to remove the splinter in your brother’s eye». Christ was not against the «splinter» being pointed out and removed, He was against those who judge others in a far worse situation. «Splinters» don’t destroy the church, «beams» do.
At the time Christ spoke these words, the Jewish nation had become obsessed with smaller issues while rejecting their Messiah and the greater issues. There was poverty, discrimination, adultery, and basically overall ill human treatment. They let it slide, but when it came to small ritualistic things, they became judges and executors without mercy.
Jesus said: «Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law, judgment, mercy, and faith: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone» (Matt.23:23)
I knew a woman who was a multimillionaire Christian. When she saw suffering and fellow Christians in need, she had no problem looking away. She even managed to get a man without a job who was dying of cancer to pay half the cost of one of her projects. However, she was superb at eating healthily. Whenever she would join a study and prayer group and the topic of sin would come up, it was always the same sin she wanted to address. «The sin» of eating chocolate. If conquered, it would bring you closer to her holy self. The sin of chocolate came up often. It is true that chocolate is not healthy, but it is hardly what to deem someone holy.
Many refuse to address their own bigger sins while dwelling on the smaller mistakes of others. Or they will focus on a sin that is not a temptation to them to feel superior to others.
When Christ spoke of not judging others, He was likely trying to address hypocrisy by not letting the guilty off the hook.
Forgiveness = no consequence?
If the things Christ said are taken out of their greater context, a Christian will feel compelled to let the «bad guy» go free thinking Christ wants that. Many times, a victim in the church is persuaded by leaders or the church board to not report the incident to authorities and that they are only a good Christian and accepted by Christ if they let the perpetrator go unpunished. Then the perpetrator goes free and can continue harming others. This is a misuse of Christ’s words, a violation of God’s law and the gospel. The victim becomes «the problem» that must be solved. The accusation is viewed as a disturbance of peace, not the perpetrator or their acts. The whistleblower is guilt-tripped into remaining silent.
It is important for those in leading positions in the church to live a good life without hypocrisy so that they can address injustice in the church. About a church leader, Paul wrote: «A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behavior, given to hospitality, apt to teach; Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous; One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity;(For if a man knows not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?) Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover he must have a good report of them which are without; lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil» (1.Tim.3:2-7)
The whole congregation’s healthy progress depends on good men and women who can lead in a good way. Not a man trapped in a circle of sinful behavior, not willing or daring to address the evil in his church.
Paul, here, says the «bishop» should not have a beam in his eye. Still, he must be able to empathize with those who have failed to help them do what is right. It is this balance that sometimes becomes hard. The principle of not judging before repenting and changing ourselves is seen in the Old Testament as well. When someone in Israel stole gold and fancy clothing, God would not let them punish the Canaanites in the battle against Ai. Only when they had dealt with the «sin in the camp», the sin among themselves, could they help God execute judgment over that city.
The same situation happened later when the tribe of Benjamin gang raped and killed a woman and threatened a stranger, among other crimes. The rest of the tribes of Israel demanded Benjamin hand out the criminals for judgment, but they refused and protected them. The tribe showed no remorse or willingness to change, and so the other tribes declared war upon them.
Twice they went out to war, and both times they lost more men than the tribe of Benjamin did. Both times they asked for God’s council, and He agreed they should punish them, yet He did not help them get victory, and so that perplexed them greatly. Why would God tell them to judge but not help them execute judgment?
The third time, they came crying before God and asked again. This time, they were no longer self-righteous. They humbled themselves and confessed their sins: «and wept, and sat there before the LORD, and fasted that day until even, and offered burnt offerings and peace offerings before the LORD» (Jdg.20:26) Through the sacrifices, they made atonement for the sins that they confessed. When they asked God again if they should go against the tribe of Benjamin, God finally told them He would help them and cause them to win. (Judges chap.20)
Again, we see the same principles. God let mankind take part in the judgment of their fellow men, but they must make amends for their crimes first. If not, God is partial, and He will condone one sin and punish another. God is always fair. So, when pleading for justice, we need to make sure we do not have unresolved sins ourselves.
In a way, this helps God ensure we show compassion in our judgment, just as we ourselves need compassion.
Christ’s words must be put in context with the whole Bible and God’s dealings with sin and sinners throughout. This helps us understand that Christ’s words were not meant to let the sinner off the hook without being held accountable. «For if we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged» (1Co 11:31)
Satan has taken Christ’s words out of context and made many churches his playground. Many dare not try to change anything or hold others accountable.
Paul claims that a church has to deal with those who ruin the congregation: «But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat. For what have I to do to judge them also that are without? do not ye judge them that are within? But them that are without God judgeth. Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person» (1Co 5:11-13).
To keep a congregation healthy, there is a need for those who are in leading positions to know they have done wrong and step down and take responsibility for their actions so that everyone will have to do the same.
Unfortunately, there is often hypocrisy, and no one wishes to take responsibility for their own sins or those of others.
James’s advice is: «Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you» (James 4:7-10)
James also wrote: «Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective» (James 5:16)
Forgiveness as a threat
Another verse Satan often uses to get his way in the churches is from the Lord’s Prayer. «And forgive us our sins; for we also forgive everyone that is indebted to us» (Luke 11:4) We must be willing to forgive others, especially when seeking forgiveness ourselves. Christ does not like us to wish a good treatment for ourselves and a bad treatment for others.
Satan often twists this verse to suit his agenda of cursing the congregations. The verse can be used to force victims into a state where they are further traumatized. By making their trauma and emotional and physical scars evidence that they have not forgiven their transgressor, and thus God will not forgive them. Not only are they hurt, but now they are told that God will use their «scars» as an excuse to lock them out of heaven. So, the bad guy is given entrance, and the victim is told they will be shut out. Many victims within churches feel forced to meet their abusers and bullies and not speak up or say a word. If they do, God is said to be dissatisfied with them. They make God a narcissist. Christian narcissists love quoting this verse to escape accountability and divert the blame back onto the victim. Satan has, with the false gospel, removed forgiveness for sin from responsibility and repentance, so abusers enjoy a freedom not offered to their victims.
The blame for any tension is put on the victim. It is easy to understand why many victims leave the churches and even end up hating «God». To them, God is the defender of the one who hurt them, which makes the victim feel of no value. Countless victims growing up in churches become Satanists and eager atheists. It is their way of combating the God who loved their oppressor and took part in the abuse against them. Unaware that it was Satan, in whose case they now advance, that tricked them and represented the values they hated. They hate God’s judgment because they feel it is unfair to them. In an abuser-victim situation where trauma has been inflicted upon someone, «forgiving» that person will not take away the consequences. We know many of the diseases afflicting long-term trauma survivors are permanent. Especially those silenced. Science shows how important a support team is for recovery. It is important for the victim to communicate their hurt and experience to find healing. When the victim gets to speak about what has happened, they can get the much-needed help they need to understand that what happened to them was wrong and that any manipulation they have experienced is just that. Often, they need help just distinguishing right from wrong. Any church or congregation with respect for the principles seen in God’s law and the gospel will remove the perpetrator and help the victim first. The victim must not be silenced for the sake of their transgressor. Neither should the victim be forced nor pressured to forgive or tolerate their abuser unless they are well enough and wish to do so. If forgiving is happening under the threat that God will place them in hell if they don’t, it is not authentic forgiveness that can heal. Healing takes time. The scars must not be considered hate; rather, they are a consequence of sin.
To create a metaphor. It is like when someone hits someone else’s car and leaves a gigantic dent in the side. He may apologize and even be forgiven, but the dent in the side will not magically disappear. Sin has a harmful effect upon the human body; it leaves a «dent» and “scratches”. No matter how much the person who hit the car apologizes, the dent must be fixed. This means the one who hit the car, in addition to apologizing, , should pay for it to be fixed. The fix takes time, depending on how large the damage is and how much was affected on the inside of the car.
Now imagine how ridiculous it would be if people pointed to the dent in the car as evidence you had not forgiven the one who crashed into you and created it. That you were flashing the dent for attention, or keeping it there to demonstrate you would rather not forgive. If the dent was considered a threat or accusation against the other driver? If the other driver took offense at the damage, blamed you, and refused to pay for it but still demanded you show him mercy and not report him? The ridiculous claim that the dent was created because your car was too soft or sensitive in the crash? Or the car’s damage was caused by it being a “cheap car” and so it is your fault for driving a “cheap car”. None of these excuses would work in the real world if you hit someone’s car. So, if they don’t pay, and you can’t pay for it either, you will have to drive around with that dent or damage, and it will be a visible and continued reminder that this person crashed into your car.
Many victims are expected to magically not have any trauma response or damage from trauma. Some think that forgiving someone should magically remove the mental damage.
It is either considered their weakness or a stubborn inability to forgive. Any signs of anxiety and depression are considered self-inflicted because they do not forgive. They put more blame, and shame on someone already struggling, while «the Christian love» and grace is given to their transgressor. Even if a victim forgives, they should still be able to choose distance from their transgressor and be allowed to recover from the hurt. The body does not forget. Instincts and reflexes do not forget. Many victims can and will have a bodily stress reaction around a transgressor, even if they choose to forgive. It’s our built-in defense mechanism. It is why we are extra careful near a hot plate after accidentally touching it. It has nothing to do with bitterness toward the hot plate. Our bodies are created to learn from mistakes and protect ourselves if the threat repeats. A victim can choose to ignore these bodily warning signs and choose to have contact with an offender, yet eventually, they might find themselves running on empty. The body is constantly stressed because it perceives danger, even if we push that inner voice away. If we ignore this stress, it will destroy us. If a perpetrator is sorry and has changed their behavior, the victim can learn to regain trust and relax around them. Anything is possible. The body can learn and be adjusted, but it won’t be easily fooled.
Where there is no admission of guilt, the victim cannot outrun their warning system. A perpetrator may become a better person quickly, but the speed of their transition might not harmonize with the speed of the victim’s healing. So, they are still, in many cases, best separated.
I doubt Christ’s words were meant to acquit the transgressor and put their victim on trial instead. This is hardly consistent with the rest of the Bible and the principles in «the law and the testimony» or the apostles. (Isa.8:20) It is a twisting and misuse of scripture. Christ wanted us to forgive each other more easily for our small trespasses. The little things that happen too often can become big issues.
People constantly make small mistakes. Jealousy, thoughtlessness, or a selfish decision. If we are constantly demanding perfection from people, we will hurt them and ourselves. God asks us to show some grace, be quick to forgive, and move on for our own and others’ good. When it comes to bigger crimes, however, a different approach is needed to not give a bad person the space to continue causing harm.
«Therefore, the law is slacked, and judgment doth never go forth: for the wicked doth compass about the righteous; therefore wrong judgment proceedeth» (Heb.1:4)
God shows great frustration when His people do not protect the victims.«The Lord works righteousness and justice for all who are oppressed» (Psalm 103:6)«The Lord tests the righteous, but his soul hates the wicked and the one who loves violence» (Psalm 11:5)«The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble» (Psalm.9:9)
Jesus did not tell us to let the transgressors who have hurt us go free. Jesus gave this example: «If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector» (Matt.18:15-17)
Jesus’ words against not judging were not to be used in instances like these. If someone refuses to take responsibility, he should be exposed and treated accordingly.
I had the unfortunate experience of getting to know a church that did not follow the right procedure. As a child, I participated a few times in a Bible study class in a church while visiting a family member who went to that church. I really liked the Bible teacher; he was charismatic and friendly. He seemed genuinely interested in what he talked about and the children whom he had the lesson for.
Many years later, I would learn of the tragedy surrounding this man. He had taken advantage of at least three girls, unrelated to each other, and stolen their innocence. The three girls were sexually assaulted several years apart, but the church failed to act on the information they had. The first time they learned about these accusations, they decided that he seemed to explain himself well, and he was popular and kind, so they decided to keep it a secret. Being open about this man’s possible sin would ruin his life, and so they kept quiet and protected him. Because they kept it a secret, the next family in the church was unaware of his history and went on vacation with him and his wife. When going home, they felt safe leaving their young daughter in their company. The young girl was then groomed and sexually assaulted. This would never have happened if the church board had understood the importance of dealing with sin correctly. To hold the sinner accountable and protect their congregation, not the transgressor. And to use the law enforcement in the country, set there by God to judge in such a matter, to make sure he was punished and the victim vindicated and given a chance to heal. Punishment is not evil; it is a blessing for victims and potential victims. Someone who does not receive a hard punishment for a terrible crime is more likely to repeat it. The easier it is to get away, the easier it is to repeat the crime. Even for smaller offenses, punishment helps us develop a bodily warning reaction against repeating the offense. If you steal a little chocolate from the store as a kid and are caught and receive unpleasant consequences, the child learns that the crime was not worth the pleasure and is less likely to repeat it. If the punishment is too hard and severe for the crime, the opposite effect is created, and the child is more likely to rebel against authority and commit worse crimes. Therefore, the hell-preaching many do, saying God will torture a man forever for a short-lived life in sin here on earth, awakens rebellion against God’s authority. The punishment does not fit the crime. A pagan understanding of hell is preached in many churches, and it has helped Satan paint God as an unrighteous, crazy, and revengeful sadist.
Because too severe a punishment for a certain crime harms someone, Satan can also use this to another extreme and suggest anarchy against law and punishment. So, on the one hand, Satan tries to rock the boat by claiming God’s judgments are unfair, and on the other side, he suggests anarchy, which is basically giving people the freedom to do harmful acts and say harmful words without being held accountable.
Punishment is a blessing if used correctly. If there is no consequence for wrongdoing, it will be repeated. Punishment is meant to protect victims and the perpetrator at the same time. God is merciful and wants to save the perpetrator if he can, but the likelihood of him realizing his mistake without facing consequences is low. The punishment therefore protects but also chastises the perpetrator into a state of reflection and desire for change. If evil acts have evil consequences, the act itself is less of a temptation. If punishment doesn’t rehabilitate them, they ought to be punished for the safety of the victims alone.
God punishes the sinner to some degree, even when offering them forgiveness. Usually, this punishment from God lets them face the consequences of their actions, so they can learn from their mistakes. To see and experience the harm they created to better understand why it is wrong.
“For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness.Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby» (Heb.12:6-11)
God punishes for the sake of our victims and for our own sake, so we can reflect and become better people. Just like parents do when they punish their children. Any parent hates to see their child be an unkind bully or mean person. They will wish to correct them, so they can help them become better people for their own sake and for others. This is precisely why God scorns us, too.
Satan loves quoting scripture and using the Bible to fool Christians into either being too soft or too hard. Both can argue from scripture and cause a congregation to think they are just following the Bible and doing God’s service when they are serving the devil’s agenda.
Being fair is essential for a healthy church. To place the blame in the right place, to protect people from being victimized, and to show a righteous consequence for those who harm. The devil uses the Bible to turn black into white and white into black. He will use “forgive, or you won’t be forgiven” to a severely wounded person and use scripture of judgment to those doing small offenses. Discouraging both to feel God is unfair.
When Satan tempted Christ in the wilderness, he quoted the scripture and he came as an angel of light. When he tries to fool God’s people, he is a “wolf in sheep’s clothing”, and his angels are presenting themselves as “servants of righteousness”. (2Co_11:14-15; Mat_7:15)
Satan does not enter a church by quoting himself. He enters the church, quoting God. He twists God’s words and uses them in the wrong situations. He causes man to sin, so he is less likely to act when others sin, or he exaggerates the punishment, creating rebellion. He carefully studies the situation and deploys the best way to ruin someone using an out-of-context Bible verse.
The understanding that a punishment should fit the crime to bring about change is seen in the US prison system versus the Norwegian prison system. Here are two different cultures. In the US, prison is often revenge. It is not meant to rehabilitate the criminal but to satisfy the victims’ need to «get even» and physically prevent them from doing it to others. Little care is taken of the criminal, and the result is that they are more likely to repeat their offenses or commit even greater offenses. Small offenders are placed side by side with greater offenders, and the strongest subdue the weak. In numerous instances, there is abuse and torture within the prisons. And thus, the punishment the small offender is suffering is so great compared to the crime that he becomes more rebellious, or hopeless.
Even the biggest offenders have hope of redemption in Norwegian prisons. Although they can end up sitting there their whole lives, even someone with a life sentence is given the hope of release someday if they change their ways and show an understanding of themselves and their crime. In Norway, the focus on rehabilitation is important in the prison. Because believing in them gives them hope, and hope can bring about a change. It also produces less violence in prison. They get to practice working and providing for themselves, even cooking their meals.
Does this work? «In Norway, it has been reported that less than half of people released from prison are rearrested after three years. In Pennsylvania, that figure is closer to 70%.» (https://www.freethink.com/society/norway-helped-remake-a-us-prison-heres-what-happened) If someone robs a house, and they rightly go to prison, if their experience is too traumatic and harsh, they might go out and do worse harm the next time. It is therefore in people’s best interests that offenders get a chance to rehabilitate when they are punished. This is exactly God’s design, as we can see in both the law and in the stories in the Bible.
No society is served by having small offenders come out of prison hell to become big or repeat offenders. We can learn from God’s way of dealing with offenders. He punishes, but not so much that all hope is lost. It is seen in His dealings with Israel who sinned over and over again. He encourages change and rehabilitation, giving people hope that they still have a chance of redemption.
Satan wants to take away a sinner’s hope. He knows that when hope is gone, it changes men negatively. The despair and the depression cause the sinner to think there is no point in trying to be good anymore, and they are more likely to engage in worse activities or even destroy themselves. He is taunting humans with the thought that they are beyond salvation and that God despises them and cannot forgive them. That they cannot change, no matter how hard they try. The moment they believe these lies, Satan has them in his hands. They will destroy themselves and others, and they will leave God.«For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind» (2.Tim.1:7)
When that still voice comes and tells you that your sin is too great for God to forgive and that there is no hope for you, you can be sure it is God’s enemy talking. God would not taunt the lost, especially someone who is grieved by their action. If they see their sin and are ashamed of it, there is hope. The ones who cannot admit or acknowledge their sin are those who are without hope. If you see your sin and realize it is a sin, it is proof that you are responding to the Holy Spirit, and there is still hope. Jesus saved the criminal that was crucified next to him, and at the very last moment, is a visual message to mankind to never give up on hope and reach out to Him for help.
Paul leaves no doubt that if someone in the church has done something illegal, a grievous sin towards someone else, and it is illegal, then the church should submit to the higher authority, the government, and let them judge and sentence them. Paul even calls the earthly persecutor «the minister of God» when judging the guilty: «For he is the minister of God to thee for good. » (Rom.13:4-5)
It is God’s will that there are authorities who can put criminals to court. We are therefore not God’s servants if we prevent this and protect the perpetrator who has harmed another human being. Let him receive the punishment for his action, and if repentant, get mercy from God for the life to come. We are not to let offenders go free to offend. Punishment and refusing to forgive are not the same thing. Many times throughout the Bible, we see God punishing and forgiving at the same time. You can love and forgive your son for kicking you in the leg, but at the same time, tell him to go to his room and think about what he has done. It is not revenge; it is giving the child an opportunity to understand himself and his actions. It is not refusing to forgive. In this example, the mother most likely forgives her son for the kick even before he is sent to his room. If the teenage daughter comes home later than agreed upon and apologizes, the punishment is not hate or a lack of forgiveness; it is to teach her to do better.
In churches, it is important for a member not to demand a victim forgive their offender without making sure the offender is held accountable. This does not just have to be larger sins, it can be the seemingly small things that destroy a church: gossip, bullying, petty judgments, favoritism, and exclusion based on selfishness or jealousy.
Satan often feasts on the confusion in the churches. Taking Christ’s words out of context has caused many victims additional hurt and fear.
It is hypocrisy and pettiness. Letting the big sinners go free and judging others for small, insufficient things that do not really concern others. Many churches have ended up accepting sins in the church, while at the same time showing no mercy and throwing people out for minor theological disagreements. You can have a rock concert in a church, the pastor cheats on his wife, the worship leader has a gambling problem, the pianist molests his daughter, the lady in the front row is a notorious gossiper and liar, another person practices racism in his neighborhood, and the deacon steals money from his old aunt, and no one does anything about any of it. The poor family lacking food is looked down upon by everyone there, but if you dare have a different understanding of a sentence in the Bible, you are out!
Nowhere does Jesus tell us to kick people out of the church for minor interpretation conflicts. A church needs to address adultery, sexual immorality, greed, theft, ignoring the poor, and not looking away when there is mental and physical abuse among them. And at no point should people’s clothing or food, minor issues, or how one word in a biblical text is interpreted be treated as greater offenses. There were many theological disagreements at the time of the first temple destruction. They had their liberals and their conservatives, like everyone else. Judaism was divided into different groups just like Christians are today, yet despite all of this, we are told repeatedly that the reason God could not protect them and bear over with them anymore was offenses that are no longer considered a big deal by many Christians today:
«Run up and down every street in Jerusalem,” says the LORD. “Look high and low; search throughout the city! If you can find even one just and honest person, I will not destroy the city. But even when they are under oath, saying, ‘As surely as the LORD lives,’ they are still telling lies!” LORD, you are searching for honesty.» (Jer.5:1-3)
«This is what the LORD says: “For three sins of Israel, even for four, I will not turn back [my wrath]. They sell the righteous for silver, and the needy for a pair of sandals. They trample on the heads of the poor as upon the dust of the ground and deny justice to the oppressed» (Amos.2: 6-7).
«The sin of the people of Israel and Judah is exceedingly great; the land is full of bloodshed and the city is full of injustice. They say, ‘The LORD has forsaken the land; the LORD does not see.»(Ezek.9:9)
It is clear from the Bible that we are not to look away and allow evil men to do evil under the misunderstood notion that we are good Christians.
Nowhere throughout Bible history is God rewarding anyone for injustice or for not interfering when someone is being hurt, oppressed, or damaged.
It is a Christian duty to be brave and act.
“Shout with the voice of a trumpet blast. Tell my people Israel of their sins! Yet they act so pious! They come to the Temple every day and seem delighted to hear my laws. You would almost think this was a righteous nation that would never abandon its God. They love to make a show of coming to me and asking me to take action on their behalf” (Isaiah 58:1-2).
To leave no room for doubt about who God defends—the victim or the offender—this verse should clear it up: «The LORD hates these two things: punishing the innocent and letting the guilty go free.» (Pro.17:15)
The way out of victimhood is not to pretend there are no victims or to convince someone they are not a victim when they are. It is to deal with sin the right way, the way God designed and commanded. Then the victim is empowered and set free.
We cannot preach or force people out of their victimhood, but we can help them through the steps. Nor as a victim should they do this to themselves. Do not be afraid to ask for justice.