1. Introduction 2. The World Is A Battlefield 3. The Church: A Feast for Oppressors? 4. The Many Faces of Childhood Trauma. 5. How do victims communicate? 6. Being a victim of an offense and victimhood 7. Learned Helplessness 8. Victim-blaming 9. God’s solution to sin 10. How Satan uses the Bible to force us to submit to him 11. The Good Shepherd 12. Victimhood as a weapon 13. The Victorious Christian 14. Practical exercise towards freedom. 15. Restore your trust in God. 16. Why God allows difficulties. 17. Church Tribulations 18. Final Victory 19. Afterword
There are real victims and real hurt. To a greater or lesser degree, everyone is a victim of someone. It would be hard to go through life without, at some point, being the victim of another’s sin. At the same time, most of us have wronged others as well. In no way does this justify or excuse their or our behavior. Many Christians fall into the trap of lacking empathy because they wrongly apply Christ’s words about forgiving others as He forgives us, and His instruction «not to judge or we will be judged», to every situation. Knowing we have sinned ourselves, we feel compelled to look away when others sin, hoping for forgiveness for our own failings.
Such was the case with David. He had slept with another man’s wife and indirectly caused his death, followed by deep agony and repentance. When his son later violated his half-sister Tamar, David must have felt the weight of hypocrisy at the thought of judging and sentencing him for his crime, given that he himself had been forgiven by God. So, he did not judge him, and by failing to act, he further violated his daughter, who was left feeling worthless. Her life and future as wife and mother were ruined. It says: «So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom’s house» (2. Sam.13:20). Tamar’s spirit was killed. The one word, “desolate,” describing her situation says a lot. Nothing more is said about her, and this is the last we hear of her. One word is all we get: that she «remained desolate».
David’s other son, Tamar’s brother, was filled with anger over the lack of justice. He watched her «desolate» in his house. He hungered for justice, but it never came. For two years, he waited, and then he decided to take matters into his own hands and kill his brother.
David’s hesitation to act because of his sin brought him even more misery than he could have imagined. His sin eventually cost him four children: his baby, his daughter’s mental breakdown, his firstborn son’s death, and his other son’s rebellion that ultimately got him killed.
As it was with David, so it is with us. If we are conscious of our sin, we are less likely to demand justice when others sin. This happens at the cost of new victims. Satan knows all about this loophole and uses it to bring sin into the churches.
If no one dares to judge or interfere when injustice is done, the church can easily become a paradise for perpetrators. What is supposed to be a haven on Earth becomes a house full of predators. Satan keeps everyone’s private sins alive by repeatedly reminding them of those sins, even though they have been atoned for. Once we are broken by it, he can introduce others who sin similarly, and we will not feel right judging them. Although we seek to change ourselves, the one we permit to sin might not.
When Christ said “not to judge, lest you be judged”, He was not speaking against the punishment of crimes. Naturally, crimes must be paid for. A willingness to take responsibility for our sins is therefore the best way to demand that others take responsibility for theirs. In a way, this is what David did. He was open about his sin; he humiliated himself before everyone with his transparency and repentance. This led some to view him as pathetic and to dislike his leadership. But by humiliating himself, he at the same time took away other people’s excuse to commit his crimes. He did not make his sin seem lucrative or tempting. Had he hidden his sin, he would have justified others’ sins. If he was not punished, it would be justified that no one else was. God punished David, along with forgiveness, as a warning against David’s sin. Still, while he dealt with his sin correctly and tried to do the right thing, his sin prevented him from seeking justice for Tamar.
In David’s story, we do not see perfection, but we learn a lot about cause and effect. To be in a position to judge injustice, we also need to be willing to be judged ourselves. Here, we can regain the power to act when injustice is done. It is hypocrisy that destroys. If we do not allow others to hold us accountable, we cannot hold others accountable.
To strain at a gnat, and swallow a camel.
Many of the damaging sins are not the most obvious. On the other hand, larger issues are often neglected, and instead a culture of judging minor things emerges to compensate, giving churchgoers a false sense of righteousness.
In everyday life, people are quick to judge others over small things in order to feel superior, often because they feel diminished by larger issues they cannot face. It is truly destructive for relationships, churches, and society when a group feels “holier» than others and criticizes others’ small mistakes at every opportunity. They are like parasites, living off «sucking the life out» of someone else. They feed off finding fault in others. Their whole self-esteem is built on pushing others down. They cannot find their own worth unless they demean the worth of others.
This way of viewing others resembles the work of caricature illustrators, who exaggerate people’s characteristics to create a comical version of them. This is how very critical people view others: they think they are seeing the truth about them, but they are just exaggerating and overly focused on small things, letting it cloud their understanding. Although the caricature drawer’s exaggeration of people’s physical characteristics has a base of truth, the image is still a lie.
Jesus said, «Why do you notice the splinter in your brother’s eye, but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own? How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me remove that splinter in your eye,’ when you do not even notice the wooden beam in your own eye? You hypocrite! Remove the wooden beam from your eye first; then you will see clearly to remove the splinter in your brother’s eye» (Luke 6:41-43)
Christ is not speaking here of letting rapists, abusers, bullies, thieves, and murderers go free (Rev. 22:15; Gal. 5:21). He is talking about the smaller things that need to be addressed the right way. Many use this example from the Bible, but then forget the last sentence: «Remove the wooden beam from your eye first; then you will see clearly to remove the splinter in your brother’s eye». Christ was not against the «splinter» being pointed out and removed; He was against those who judge others in a far worse situation. «Splinters» don’t destroy the church; «beams» do.
At the time Christ spoke these words, the Jewish nation had become obsessed with smaller issues while rejecting their Messiah and the greater issues. There was poverty, discrimination, adultery, and basically overall ill human treatment. They let it slide, but when it came to small ritualistic things, they became judges and executors without mercy.
Jesus said: «Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law, judgment, mercy, and faith: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone» (Matt. 23:23)
I knew a woman who was a multimillionaire Christian. When she saw suffering and fellow Christians in need, she had no problem looking away. She even managed to get an unemployed man who was dying of cancer to pay half the cost of one of her projects. However, she was superb at eating healthily. Whenever she joined a study and prayer group and the topic of sin came up, it was always the same sin she wanted to address. «The sin» of eating chocolate. If conquered, it would bring you closer to her level of holiness. The sin of chocolate came up often. It is true that chocolate is not particularly healthy, but it is hardly the measure by which to deem someone holy.
Many refuse to address their own bigger sins while dwelling on the smaller mistakes of others. Or they will focus on a sin that is not a temptation to them to feel superior to others.
When Christ spoke of not judging others, He was likely addressing hypocrisy, not calling for the guilty to be let off the hook.
Forgiveness = no consequence?
If the things Christ said are taken out of their greater context, a Christian will feel compelled to let the «bad guy» go free, thinking Christ wants that. Many times, a victim in the church is persuaded by leaders or the church board not to report the incident to authorities, and told that they are only a good Christian if they let the perpetrator go unpunished. Then the perpetrator goes free and can continue harming others. This is a misuse of Christ’s words, a violation of God’s law and the gospel. The victim becomes «the problem» that must be solved. The accusation is viewed as a disturbance of peace, while the perpetrator or their acts are the real culprits. The whistleblower is guilt-tripped into remaining silent.
It is important for those in leadership positions in the church to live uprightly and without hypocrisy, so that they can address injustice within the congregation. About a church leader, Paul wrote: «A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behavior, given to hospitality, apt to teach; Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous; One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity;(For if a man knows not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?) Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover, he must have a good report of them who are without; lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil» (1.Tim.3:2-7)
The whole congregation’s healthy progress depends on good men and women who can lead well. Not a man trapped in a cycle of sinful behavior, unwilling or afraid to address the evil in his church.
Paul says here that the «bishop» should not have a beam in his eye. Still, he must be able to empathize with those who have failed to help them do what is right. It is this balance that sometimes becomes hard. The principle of not judging before repenting and changing ourselves is seen in the Old Testament as well. When someone in Israel stole gold and fancy clothing, God would not let them punish the Canaanites in the battle against Ai. Only when they had dealt with the «sin in the camp», the sin among themselves, could they help God execute judgment over that city.
The same situation happened later when the tribe of Benjamin gang raped and killed a woman and threatened a stranger, among other crimes. The rest of the tribes of Israel demanded that the tribe of Benjamin hand over the criminals for judgment, but Benjamin refused and protected them. The tribe showed no remorse or willingness to change, and so the other tribes declared war on them.
Twice they went out to war, and both times they lost more men than the tribe of Benjamin did. Both times they sought God’s counsel, and He agreed they should punish them, yet He did not help them gain victory, which greatly perplexed them. Why would God tell them to judge but not help them execute that judgment?
The third time, they came crying before God and asked again. This time, they were no longer self-righteous. They humbled themselves and confessed their sins: «and wept, and sat there before the LORD, and fasted that day until even, and offered burnt offerings and peace offerings before the LORD» (Jdg.20:26). Through the sacrifices, they made atonement for the sins that they confessed. When they asked God again if they should go against the tribe of Benjamin, God finally told them He would help them and cause them to win. (Judges chap.20)
Again, we see the same principles. God let mankind take part in the judgment of their fellow men, but they must make amends for their crimes first. If not, God is partial, and He will condone one sin and punish another. God is always fair. So when pleading for justice, we need to make sure we do not have unresolved sins of our own.
In a way, this helps God ensure we show compassion in our judgment, just as we ourselves need compassion.
Christ’s words must be put in the context of the whole Bible and of God’s dealings with sin and sinners throughout history. This helps us understand that Christ’s words were not meant to let the sinner off the hook without accountability. «For if we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged» (1Co 11:31)
Satan has taken Christ’s words out of context and made many churches his playground, leaving many too afraid to change anything or hold others accountable.
Paul states that a church must deal with those who ruin the congregation: «But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat. For what have I to do to judge them also that are without? do not ye judge them that are within? But them that are without God judgeth. Therefore, put away from among yourselves that wicked person» (1Co 5:11-13).
To keep a congregation healthy, those in leadership positions need to know when they have done wrong, step down, and take responsibility for their actions, so that everyone is held to the same standard.
Unfortunately, there is often hypocrisy, and no one wishes to take responsibility for their own sins or those of others.
James’s advice is: «Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you» (James 4:7-10)
James also wrote: «Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective» (James 5:16)
Forgiveness as a threat
Another verse Satan often uses to get his way in the churches is from the Lord’s Prayer. «And forgive us our sins; for we also forgive everyone that is indebted to us» (Luke 11:4). We must be willing to forgive others, especially when seeking forgiveness ourselves. Christ does not like it when we wish good treatment for ourselves and bad treatment for others.
Satan often twists this verse to suit his agenda of cursing the congregations. The verse can be used to force victims into a state where they are further traumatized. Their trauma and emotional and physical scars are treated as evidence that they have not forgiven their transgressor, and therefore God will not forgive them. Not only are they hurt, but now they are told that God will use their «scars» as an excuse to lock them out of heaven. So, the bad guy is given entrance, and the victim is told they will be shut out. Many victims within churches feel forced to meet their abusers and bullies and not speak up or say a word. If they do, God is said to be dissatisfied with them. They make God a narcissist. Christian narcissists love quoting this verse to escape accountability and divert the blame back onto the victim. Satan has, with the false gospel, removed forgiveness for sin from responsibility and repentance, so abusers enjoy a freedom not offered to their victims.
The blame for any tension is put on the victim. It is easy to understand why many victims leave the churches and even end up hating «God». To them, God is the defender of the one who hurt them, which makes the victim feel of no value. Countless victims growing up in churches become Satanists and eager atheists. It is their way of combating the God who loved their oppressor and took part in the abuse against them. They are unaware that it was Satan who tricked them and embodied the very values they hated, and whose cause they are now unwittingly advancing. They hate God’s judgment because they feel it is unfair to them. In an abuser-victim situation where trauma has been inflicted upon someone, «forgiving» that person will not take away the consequences. We know that many of the conditions afflicting long-term trauma survivors are permanent. This is especially true for those who are silenced. Science shows how important a support team is for recovery. It is important for the victim to communicate their hurt and experience in order to find healing. When victims are given the opportunity to speak about what has happened, they can receive the help they need to understand that what was done to them was wrong and that any manipulation they experienced is exactly that. Often, they need help just distinguishing right from wrong. Any church or congregation that respects the principles found in God’s law and the gospel will remove the perpetrator and first help the victim. The victim must not be silenced for the sake of their transgressor. Neither should the victim be forced nor pressured to forgive or tolerate their abuser unless they are well enough and wish to do so. If forgiveness is happening under the threat that God will send them to hell if they don’t, it is not authentic forgiveness that can heal. Healing takes time. The scars must not be considered hate; rather, they are a consequence of sin.
Consider this metaphor: it is like when someone hits another person’s car and leaves a large dent in it. He may apologize and even be forgiven, but the dent in the side will not magically disappear. Sin has a harmful effect on the human body; it leaves a «dent» and “scratches”. No matter how much the person who hit the car apologizes, the dent must be fixed. This means that in addition to apologizing, the person who hit the car should pay to have it repaired. The fix takes time, depending on the extent of the outer damage and how much of the car’s interior was affected.
Now imagine how absurd it would be if people pointed to the dent as evidence that you had not forgiven the one who caused it. That you were flashing the dent for attention, or keeping it there to demonstrate you would rather not forgive. Was the dent to be considered a threat or accusation against the other driver? If the other driver took offense at the damage, blamed you, refused to pay for it, and still demanded that you show him mercy and not report him? The ridiculous claim that the dent was created because your car was too soft or sensitive in the crash? Or the car’s damage was caused by it being a “cheap car,” and so it is your fault for driving a “cheap car”. None of these excuses would work in the real world if you hit someone’s car. So, if they don’t pay and you can’t either, you will have to drive around with that dent or damage, and it will be a visible, ongoing reminder that this person crashed into your car.
Many victims are expected to magically not have any trauma response or damage from trauma. Some think that forgiving someone should magically remove the mental damage.
It is either considered their weakness or a stubborn inability to forgive. Any signs of anxiety and depression are considered self-inflicted because they do not forgive. They put more blame and shame on someone already struggling, while «Christian love» and grace are given to their transgressor. Even if a victim forgives, they should still be able to choose to distance themselves from their transgressor and recover from the hurt. The body does not forget. Instincts and reflexes do not forget. Many victims can and will have a bodily stress reaction around a transgressor, even if they choose to forgive. It is our built-in defense mechanism. It is why we are extra careful near a hot plate after accidentally touching it. It has nothing to do with bitterness toward the hot plate. Our bodies are designed to learn from mistakes and to protect us if the threat recurs. A victim can choose to ignore these bodily warning signs and choose to have contact with an offender, yet eventually, they might find themselves running on empty. The body is constantly stressed because it perceives danger, even if we push that inner voice away. If we ignore this stress, it will destroy us. If a perpetrator is sorry and has changed their behavior, the victim can learn to regain trust and relax around them. Anything is possible. The body can learn and be adjusted, but it won’t be easily fooled.
Where there is no admission of guilt, the victim cannot outrun their warning system. A perpetrator may become a better person quickly, but the pace of their transition might not align with the victim’s healing. So, they are still best separated in many cases.
Christ’s words were surely not meant to acquit the transgressor and put the victim on trial instead. This is hardly consistent with the rest of the Bible, the principles in «the law and the testimony», or the writings of the apostles (Isa. 8:20). It is a twisting and misuse of scripture. Christ wanted us to forgive each other more easily for our small trespasses. The little things that happen too often can become big issues.
People constantly make small mistakes. Jealousy, thoughtlessness, or a selfish decision. If we are constantly demanding perfection from people, we will hurt them and ourselves. God asks us to show grace, be quick to forgive, and move on for our own good and the good of others. When it comes to serious crimes, however, a different approach is needed to prevent a bad person from continuing to cause harm.
«Therefore, the law is slacked, and judgment doth never go forth: for the wicked doth compass about the righteous; therefore wrong judgment proceedeth» (Hab.1:4)
God shows great frustration when His people do not protect the victims.
«The Lord works righteousness and justice for all who are oppressed» (Psalm 103:6)
«The Lord tests the righteous, but his soul hates the wicked and the one who loves violence» (Psalm 11:5)
«The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble» (Psalm 9:9)
Jesus did not tell us to let the transgressors who have hurt us go free. Jesus gave this example: «If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector» (Matt.18:15-17)
Jesus’ words against judging were not meant to be applied in cases like these. If someone refuses to take responsibility, they should be exposed and treated accordingly.
I had the unfortunate experience of encountering a church that did not follow the proper procedures. As a child, I participated a few times in a Bible study class at a church while visiting a family member who attended that church. I really liked the Bible teacher; he was charismatic and friendly. He seemed genuinely interested in what he was talking about and in the children for whom he was giving the lesson.
Many years later, I would learn of the tragedy surrounding this man. He had taken advantage of at least three girls, unrelated to each other, and stolen their innocence. The three girls were sexually assaulted several years apart, but the church failed to act on the information they had. The first time they learned of these accusations, they found that he explained himself well and seemed popular and kind, so they decided to keep it a secret. Being open about this man’s possible sin would ruin his life, and so they kept quiet and protected him. Because they kept it a secret, the next family in the church was unaware of his history and went on vacation with him and his wife. When they went home, they felt safe leaving their young daughter in their care. The young girl was then groomed and sexually assaulted. This would never have happened if the church board had understood the importance of dealing with sin correctly, holding the sinner accountable, and protecting their congregation rather than the transgressor. They should also have involved law enforcement, placed there by God to judge in such matters, to ensure he was punished, the victim vindicated, and both given a chance to heal. Punishment is not evil; it is a blessing for victims and potential victims. Someone who does not receive a hard punishment for a terrible crime is more likely to repeat it. The easier it is to get away, the easier it is to repeat the crime. Even for minor offenses, punishment helps us develop a bodily warning response to prevent the offense from being repeated. If you steal a little chocolate from the store as a kid, get caught, and face unpleasant consequences, the child learns that the crime was not worth the pleasure and is less likely to repeat it. If the punishment is too hard and severe for the crime, the opposite effect is created, and the child is more likely to rebel against authority and commit worse crimes. Therefore, the hell-preaching many do, saying God will torture a man forever for a short-lived life in sin here on earth, awakens rebellion against God’s authority. The punishment does not fit the crime. A pagan understanding of hell is preached in many churches, and it has helped Satan paint God as an unrighteous, crazy, and revengeful sadist.
Because too severe a punishment for a certain crime causes harm, Satan can use this to push to the other extreme and promote anarchy against law and order. So, on the one hand, Satan tries to stir up trouble by claiming God’s judgments are unfair, and on the other, he promotes anarchy, essentially giving people the freedom to commit harmful acts and say harmful things without being held accountable.
Punishment is a blessing if used correctly. If there is no consequence for wrongdoing, it will be repeated. Punishment is meant to protect both victims and the perpetrator. God is merciful and wants to save the perpetrator if he can, but the likelihood of him realizing his mistake without facing consequences is low. Punishment therefore protects others but also moves the perpetrator toward reflection and a desire for change. If evil acts have harmful consequences, the act itself is less tempting. If punishment doesn’t rehabilitate them, they ought to be punished solely for the safety of the victims.
God punishes the sinner to some degree, even when offering them forgiveness. Usually, this punishment from God lets them face the consequences of their actions, so they can learn from their mistakes. To see and experience the harm they created, to better understand why it is wrong.
“For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness. Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby» (Heb.12:6-11)
God punishes for the sake of our victims and for our own sake, so we can reflect and become better people. Just like parents do when they punish their children. Any parent hates to see their child be an unkind bully or a mean person. They will wish to correct them, so they can help them become better people for their own sake and for others. This is precisely why God corrects us as well.
Satan loves quoting scripture and using the Bible to fool Christians into either being too soft or too hard. Both can argue from scripture and cause a congregation to think they are just following the Bible and doing God’s service when they are serving the devil’s agenda.
Being fair is essential for a healthy church. To place the blame in the right place, to protect people from being victimized, and to show a righteous consequence for those who harm. The devil uses the Bible to turn black into white and white into black. He will use “forgive, or you won’t be forgiven” against a severely wounded person, and use scriptures of judgment against those committing small offenses, discouraging both and leaving them feeling that God is unfair.
When Satan tempted Christ in the wilderness, he quoted scripture and came as an angel of light. When he tries to fool God’s people, he is a “wolf in sheep’s clothing”, and his angels present themselves as “servants of righteousness” (2Co.11:14-15; Matt.7:15).
Satan does not enter a church by quoting himself. He enters the church, quoting God. He twists God’s words and uses them in the wrong situations. He causes man to sin, so he is less likely to act when others sin, or he exaggerates the punishment, creating rebellion. He carefully studies the situation and deploys the best way to ruin someone using an out-of-context Bible verse.
The understanding that a punishment should fit the crime to bring about change is evident in the US and Norwegian prison systems. These represent two very different cultures. In the US, prison is often treated as a form of revenge. It is not meant to rehabilitate the criminal but to satisfy the victims’ need to «get even» and physically prevent them from doing it to others. Little care is taken with criminals, and the result is that they are more likely to reoffend or commit even more serious offenses. Small offenders are placed alongside greater offenders, and the strongest subdue the weak. In numerous instances, there is abuse and torture within the prisons. Thus, the punishment the small offender suffers is so disproportionate to the crime that he becomes more rebellious or hopeless.
Even the biggest offenders have hope of redemption in Norwegian prisons. Although they can end up sitting there their whole lives, even someone with a life sentence is given the hope of release someday if they change their ways and show an understanding of themselves and their crime. In Norway, rehabilitation is an important focus in prisons. Because believing in them gives them hope, and hope can bring about a change. It also produces less violence in prison. They get to practice working and providing for themselves, even cooking their meals.
Does this work? «In Norway, it has been reported that less than half of people released from prison are rearrested after three years. In Pennsylvania, that figure is closer to 70%.» (https://www.freethink.com/society/norway-helped-remake-a-us-prison-heres-what-happened) If someone robs a house, and they rightly go to prison, if their experience is too traumatic and harsh, they might go out and do worse harm the next time. It is therefore in everyone’s best interest that offenders are given a chance to rehabilitate when they are punished. This is exactly God’s design, as we can see in both the law and in the stories in the Bible.
No society is served by having minor offenders leave prison only to become more serious or repeat offenders. We can learn from God’s way of dealing with offenders. He punishes, but not so much that all hope is lost. It is seen in His dealings with Israel, who sinned over and over again. He encourages change and rehabilitation, giving people hope that they still have a chance of redemption.
Satan wants to take away a sinner’s hope. He knows that when hope is gone, it changes men for the worse. The despair and the depression cause the sinner to think there is no point in trying to be good anymore, and they are more likely to engage in worse activities or even destroy themselves. He taunts humans with the thought that they are beyond salvation, that God despises them and cannot forgive them, and that they cannot change, no matter how hard they try. The moment they believe these lies, Satan has them in his hands. They will destroy themselves and others, and they will leave God. «For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind» (2 Tim. 1:7)
When that still voice comes and tells you that your sin is too great for God to forgive and that there is no hope for you, you can be sure it is God’s enemy talking. God would not taunt the lost, especially someone who is grieved by their action. If they see their sin and are ashamed of it, there is hope. Those who cannot admit or acknowledge their sin are without hope. If you see your sin and realize it is a sin, it is proof that you are responding to the Holy Spirit, and there is still hope. Jesus saved the criminal who was crucified next to Him, and at the very last moment. It is a powerful message to mankind to never give up hope and to reach out to Him for help.
Paul leaves no doubt that if someone in the church has committed something illegal, a grievous sin against another person, the church should submit to the higher authority of the government and allow them to judge and sentence the offender. Paul even calls the earthly authority «the minister of God» when judging the guilty: «For he is the minister of God to thee for good» (Rom.13:4-5).
It is God’s will that there are authorities who can put criminals on trial. We are therefore not God’s servants if we prevent this and protect the perpetrator who has harmed another human being. Let him receive the punishment for his action, and if repentant, get mercy from God for the life to come. We are not to let offenders go free to offend. Punishment and refusing to forgive are not the same thing. Many times throughout the Bible, we see God punishing and forgiving simultaneously. You can love and forgive your son for kicking you in the leg, but at the same time, tell him to go to his room and think about what he has done. It is not revenge; it is giving the child an opportunity to understand himself and his actions. It is not refusing to forgive. In this example, the mother most likely forgives her son for the kick before he is even sent to his room. If a teenage daughter comes home later than agreed upon and apologizes, the punishment is not hate or a lack of forgiveness; it is meant to teach her to do better.
In churches, it is important that members not demand a victim forgive their offender without first ensuring the offender is held accountable. This need not be limited to larger sins. It can apply to the seemingly small things that destroy a church: gossip, bullying, petty judgments, favoritism, and exclusion driven by selfishness or jealousy.
Satan often feasts on the confusion in the churches. Taking Christ’s words out of context has caused many victims additional hurt and fear.
It is hypocrisy and pettiness, letting serious sinners go free while judging others for small, trivial things that do not truly concern anyone. Many churches have ended up accepting sins in the church, while at the same time showing no mercy and throwing people out for minor theological disagreements. You can have a rock concert in a church, the pastor cheats on his wife, the worship leader has a gambling problem, the pianist molests his daughter, the lady in the front row is a notorious gossiper and liar, another person practices racism in his neighborhood, and the deacon steals money from his old aunt, and no one does anything about any of it. The poor family lacking food is looked down upon by everyone there, but if you dare to have a different understanding of a sentence in the Bible, you are out!
Nowhere does Jesus tell us to kick people out of the church for minor interpretation conflicts. A church needs to address adultery, sexual immorality, greed, theft, the neglect of the poor, and mental and physical abuse within its congregation. At no point should people’s clothing or food choices, minor issues, or differing interpretations of a biblical text be treated as greater offenses. There were many theological disagreements at the time of the destruction of the First Temple. They had their liberals and their conservatives, like everyone else. Judaism was divided into different groups just like Christians are today, yet despite all of this, we are told repeatedly that the reason God could not protect them and bear with them anymore was offenses that are no longer considered a big deal by many Christians today:
«Run up and down every street in Jerusalem,” says the LORD. “Look high and low; search throughout the city! If you can find even one just and honest person, I will not destroy the city. But even when they are under oath, saying, ‘As surely as the LORD lives,’ they are still telling lies!” LORD, you are searching for honesty.» (Jer.5:1-3)
«This is what the LORD says: “For three sins of Israel, even for four, I will not turn back [my wrath]. They sell the righteous for silver, and the needy for a pair of sandals. They trample on the heads of the poor as upon the dust of the ground and deny justice to the oppressed» (Amos 2:6-7).
«The sin of the people of Israel and Judah is exceedingly great; the land is full of bloodshed and the city is full of injustice. They say, ‘The LORD has forsaken the land; the LORD does not see.»(Ezek.9:9)
It is clear from the Bible that we are not to look away and allow evil men to do evil under the misunderstood notion that we are good. Nowhere in Bible history is God found rewarding anyone for injustice or for failing to intervene when someone is being hurt, oppressed, or harmed.
It is a Christian’s duty to be brave and to act.
“Shout with the voice of a trumpet blast. Tell my people Israel of their sins! Yet they act so pious! They come to the Temple every day and seem delighted to hear my laws. You would almost think this was a righteous nation that would never abandon its God. They love to make a show of coming to me and asking me to take action on their behalf” (Isaiah 58:1-2).
To leave no room for doubt about who God defends, whether the victim or the offender, this verse should clear it up: «The LORD hates these two things: punishing the innocent and letting the guilty go free» (Pro.17:15).
The way out of victimhood is not to pretend there are no victims or to convince someone they are not a victim when they are. It is to deal with sin the right way, the way God designed and commanded. Then the victim is empowered and set free.
We cannot preach or force people out of their victimhood, but we can help them through the steps. Nor should victims force this upon themselves. Do not be afraid to ask for justice.