• In this chapter, we will look at the importance of distinguishing between being a victim and victimhood. One is something that happened to us; the other is a way we choose to live that damages us.
• How can a victim avoid getting stuck in victimhood?
1. Introduction 2. The World Is A Battlefield 3. The Church: A Feast for Oppressors? 4. How Did We Become Victims? 5. How do victims communicate? 6. Being a victim of an offense and victimhood 7. Learned Helplessness 8. Victim-blaming 9. God’s solution to sin 10. How Satan uses the Bible to force us to submit to him 11. The Good Shepherd 12. Victimhood as a weapon 13. The Victorious Christian 14. Practical exercise towards freedom. 15. Restore your trust in God. 16. Why God allows difficulties. 17. Church Tribulations 18. Final Victory 19. Afterword
Victimhood «epidemic»
Victimhood has, in the 21st century, become almost an epidemic, and mental health professionals as well as politicians debate the situation. One side claims those with victimhood have a distorted view of the world and are, in fact, their own problem, with little sympathy for how they got where they are. They are getting tired because they see the toxicity that comes from victims. They minimize their hurt, and the victims are simply told to “get over it and move on”.
The other side offers sympathy and encourages the victim to “tell their truth boldly” and not be ashamed to demand justice from the world around them. As most who have suffered injustice know, sometimes you will never get admission from those who wronged you. Sometimes there will be no justice. That is when we need to consider if both sides are wrong and seek the answer, as Christians, with God instead. Many mental health professionals and politicians who claim victimhood has become a trend have rejected the Biblical apocalypse. The Bible warns that in the end, sin becomes so severe and the many victims of sadistic acts so great that the earth «mourneth and fadeth away, the world languisheth and fadeth away» (Isa.24:4). Before the flood God said about the world: “And GOD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually” (Gen 6:5) And “The earth also was corrupt before God, and the earth was filled with violence” (Gen 6:11). A state like this would create a lot of victims. Christ says the time before the flood will resemble the time before His second coming. This proves the victim statistics will be record high in the last years of the earths history (Luk.17:26).
We cannot cancel the existence of victims and the psychological side effects of sin because there are too many wounded to count. Mental health issues are rapidly rising off the charts. It is a reality. The world is a battlefield, and many have fallen. It is easy to tell a victim “to get over it and move on,” but it is not advice easily practiced. For many victims, this “advice” is just them being silenced all over again as they were as children or in their suppressed relationships, and their anger will bottle up and resurface later.
Telling someone to “get over it” is therefore re-traumatizing and not very helpful. It certenly does not make the problem go away.
The Cry from Sodom
Regarding Sodom, the city God destroyed with fire and brimstone, it is said: «And the LORD said, Because the cry of Sodom and Gomorrah is great, and because their sin is very grievous;I will go down now, and see whether they have done altogether according to the cry of it, which is come unto me; and if not, I will know» (Gen 18:20-21)
The story of Sodom is especially worth noticing because Christ compared this with the end times too: “But the same day that Lot went out of Sodom it rained fire and brimstone from heaven and destroyed them all. Even thus shall it be in the day when the Son of man is revealed” (Luk 17:29-30)
We learn from Genesis that there was a great cry sent from Sodom. That means countless people were victims of hideous crimes, and they cried out about it, and God heard their cries. It can seem, though, that part of the cry came from Sodom, and those who cried were destroyed along with their abusers. Still, God chose to judge the city because of the great suffering that was created there. And if some of the victims were killed side by side with their abuser, it means the victims themselves abused others and caused terror. We see this repeated with our own eyes today, a time Jesus compares with Sodom, understandably. How many of the child victims grow into adults who offend others? Even before they grow up. Children abuse each other all the time. A child from an abusive household goes to school and bullies those weaker than them. Trauma is never an individual problem; it is always a social problem.
The political left, which claims to be the great defender of victims and easily calls out and cancels those they believe are offenders, does itself offend others. They are known to use force, use silencing methods, and show double morals in how they judge. They bully those who do not follow their political views.
Many victims cannot handle being subdued, and they find others to subdue to relieve themselves of their pain and feel in control again. It is a terrible coping method. Victims can be awful people, but God recognized in the matter of Sodom that everything had gone so badly that everyone was born to be victims of crimes and then commit them themselves later. The cycle was so strong that it could not be broken, even by God. God still recognized the pain and hurt and took it very seriously. Sodom was also harming the surrounding nations who undoubtedly were part of those who had sent a cry to God. Four cities had been affected, and more communities and cities would have followed if God had not stopped it all. Thus, punishing Sodom was also to protect the surrounding nations and the development of the rest of the world. To hinder mankind from self-destructing so early on.
Whenever God brings judgment on earth because things have gone too far, we see the same things happening. We see both victims and abusers behaving in the same way. Those crying the loudest then and now are not always the most innocent ones. However, the more people let their instincts and emotions control them, the more hurt will follow. The number of victims today is on the rise. For an atheist or agnostic mental health worker who thinks the world is progressing to a higher state of being, this can be hard to admit or even see. And so, some of them want to silence the “cry from the world” by blaming the victims or accusing people of exaggerating their hurt.
Jesus said: “Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against itself will not stand” (Matt.12:25-29).
No happy humans sabotage and destroy themselves without reason. Again, where there is smoke, there is a fire.
The Bible is clear that things will just get worse and worse until Christ’s second coming, and in the end, there will be a constant cry coming up to the Lord. A cry similar to the one heard from Sodom. The louder the cry from earth, the closer Christ’s return is. (Luke 17:29-30)
“But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit…” (2.Tim.3:1-5)
There is no doubt that all these character traits mentioned here will cause a lot of hurt. The worst part is that Paul is here describing Christians in the end times. He says they have the “appearance of godliness”. Peter said: “Knowing this first of all, that scoffers will come in the last days with scoffing, following their own sinful desires”. (2.Peter 3:3)
Jesus said another sign that the end is near was “men fainting for fear” (Luke 21:26). Anxiety disorders have become an epidemic in our day.
Jesus said: “For then there will be great tribulation, such as has not been from the beginning of the world until now, no, and never will be. And if those days had not been cut short, no human being would be saved” (Matt.24:21-22) Everyone thinks God here speaks of a war, but great tribulations also come from living in a self-destructive and sinful society. Mankind is at war with itself.
Sodom was not in the middle of a war; the tribulations Lot and his family experienced were tribulations from moral decline, pride, and anger. The people there did not tolerate being told “no” or others having morals that judged theirs. Lot’s words: “I pray you, brethren, do not so wickedly” sparked great anger where they felt judged: “And they said, Stand back. And they said again, This one fellow came in to sojourn, and he will needs be a judge: now will we deal worse with thee, than with them” (Gen.19: 7 & 9) This little interaction alone says a lot about the condition in Sodom, where it is clear the innocent went on eggshells for the wicked and speaking up could get you killed by a mob out of control. The men in Sodom claimed to be victims of Lot’s judgmental morality and were blind to see that they were actually the ones who judged the most and were suppressive in their communications and actions. Most of these men coming to Lot’s house were victims themselves, growing up in a toxic environment and acting it out. They had learned to love the sin inflicted on them. Their actions were still evil.
If anyone is tempted to think that God does not have compassion for people who are harmed, they are very wrong. The reason God judges sin in the first place is a recognition of the harm it causes. God’s war against sin is a war against what destroys mankind.
Jesus said bullying others was murder: «Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not kill, and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment: But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.» (Mat 5:21-22).
The word «raca» means worthless, a feeling most children growing up in an abusive home experience and that causes them such great suffering.
Jesus is showing great empathy for those who have been bullied and harmed by others. He recognizes how it destroys lives. Even if someone is not physically killed, their spirit is killed, and their moral and physical strength are crippled so that they cannot live a normal, healthy life. Jesus indicated that this was just another way of murdering someone.
God hates sin because it damages people and leaves them ruined. He has a great understanding of the effects that even one harmful act towards another can have on that person’s life. Even a word. Just because God wants us to be free of victimhood does not mean he, like many others, doesn’t recognize and has empathy when seeing our hurt. One thing does not take away the other.
In Revelation, when all sin is dealt with, God says: «And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away» (Rev 21:4)
He is not saying we won’t get hurt here in this world. He is not telling us to “pull ourselves together and stop crying” now. He says He wants to comfort us and wipe the tears away by giving us a better life. This is the healthiest way to help any victim, recognizing their hurt, comforting them, and changing the environment that caused the hurt.
The unhealthy way is to demand the wounded shut down their feelings, blame them, and then tell them to continue living in the abuse. This is the great difference between God’s solution and that of many professed Christians claiming to represent God.
Victimhood is damaging.
On the other side, the state of victimhood is damaging. It is important to know the difference between living in victimhood and having been a victim. When God wants to free us from victimhood, it is not because He does not recognize our hurt or that we have been a victim of someone else’s cruelty or selfishness.
So, what is the difference between “victimhood” and being a victim?
When we have been victimized, usually something out of our control has happened. Someone has harmed us. It is something that happened to us; it is not something we are. If we identify as the wrong deed done to us, we will continue to abuse ourselves and even others after the incident. Another popular way of living victimhood today is by choosing a different identity, ideology, religion, or even name as a response to the trauma. Assuming a different identity to combat past abuse is, for many, a way of selecting a different type of victimhood; however, it is still victimhood and manifests as such. Occasionally, it is not one incident; it can be a series of incidents or a ruined childhood. Still, God tells us that we are not what happened to us. The world tells us we are our sins; we were born that way and have to live that way. That sin is part of our personality and therefore needs to be accepted for us to be at peace with ourselves.
God’s approach is different. We are children of God with potential. He wants us to be happy and free. If we choose, unaware or aware, victimhood, then we are still trapped, and we will continue to be harmed by ourselves and others. We will become offenders.
God recognizes and takes very seriously the crimes committed against us, but He desires that we not let them control us and our future. It should not define us, and how we meet others. It should not hold us on a leash like a master.
If it does, God must constantly compete with its influence, and we will sabotage anything good He wants to do for us.
God says: «For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end» (Jer. 29:11).
No one in heaven will be a walking trauma response. No one in heaven will be a victim of our unresolved trauma. God needs us to understand cause and effect and choose His plan to free ourselves. To be who we are supposed to be outside of the trauma and what we have experienced.