• Both victims and abusers can use victimhood as a weapon to get their way. How do we avoid using our hurt to manipulate others, and how can we avoid being manipulated by others?
• How can we tell if someone is pretending to be a victim to manipulate the narrative?
1. Introduction 2. The World Is A Battlefield 3. The Church: A Feast for Oppressors? 4. How Did We Become Victims? 5. How do victims communicate? 6. Being a victim of an offense and victimhood 7. Learned Helplessness 8. Victim-blaming 9. God’s solution to sin 10. How Satan uses the Bible to force us to submit to him 11. The Good Shepherd 12. Victimhood as a weapon 13. The Victorious Christian 14. Practical exercise towards freedom. 15. Restore your trust in God. 16. Why God allows difficulties. 17. Church Tribulations 18. Final Victory 19. Afterword
Satan’s best tactic for causing hurt and confusion is to turn the roles around. He did it with God, portraying God with his character traits and himself with God’s character. Satan claimed to be the defender of individual freedom but suppressed all those who opposed him. God allowed Satan to speak, and Satan silences those who preach Christ. Satan claims God is a dictator, but it is he who acts like a dictator. God has a justice system with thousands upon thousands of witnesses going through all his judgments. Satan works, and judges, and strikes in the dark.
Satan claimed to be God’s victim unjustly. Just because God would not change His law and rule to suit Satan’s ambitions, Satan claimed to be treated badly. In the end, all the misery and confusion he created, he blamed God for.
Many people follow Satan’s lead in claiming victimhood wrongly. They take away the real victims’ right to compensation.
Our built-in desire for justice is so great that when someone says they are a victim and switches roles with the true victim, many will believe them. A real long-term victim will be insecure and struggle to ask for their rights; a false victim is often loud and demanding. It is therefore important to understand the difference between being a victim and claiming victimhood unjustly.
Currently, the world is flooded with people claiming victimhood. Either because of race, gender, sexual preference, or religion.
People are easily offended, and tension is rising all over the world, especially in the West.
Although both men and women use victimhood as a weapon, women are masters of it. (Isa.3:12) There is perhaps a logic behind it.
A study shows that commonly, the «body strength of women has been reported as being roughly 67% that of men.”(https://scholar.princeton.edu/sites/default/files/brzycki/files/mb-2002-01.pdf)
Throughout the earth’s history, a woman has not stood a chance against a grown man physically. A man would pick up the woman like a woman would a small child.
This has caused women to seek shelter and protection from other men. Causing the effect written about in Genesis. Part of the curse of bringing sin into the world would be her having to choose protection: “And thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee” (Gen.3:16)
It being a curse shows there was equality before. If the woman had no enemies, she would not desire a man’s protection. The love would be purely love-based. The word “desire” is a word that also means”longing”. The woman will long for the protection she gets from a man. Six thousand years later, in the middle of female empowerment and independence, women still desire romantic stories where the man is strong and protective. Feminists can’t seem to beat their instincts and desire for safety from men. Today’s technology and world order in part give them this safety, which is in part why it took our age in the world’s history for women to seek independence on a greater scale.
A survival show on television led by the famous Bear Grylls placed a group of normal women on one island and a group of normal men on another. They wanted to see how each group worked for their survival in a primitive setting. The women had to be rescued several times by the TV producers, they chose poor solutions and were less resourceful. The men on the other island were thriving, happy, and building structures that helped their survival. It was clear to most of the viewers that men and women possess different strengths and skills tied to their gender. Although modern feminism refutes this observation, it is refuting the obvious. Denying a fact does not make it any less true.
Primitively speaking, living as the weaker gender has caused some women, knowing they cannot beat a man with physical strength, to find their strength in manipulation instead. If they can control the male, they will have the male’s physical strength in their possession.
A man, being the physically stronger gender, has always had to live with the responsibility of being stronger. Being considerate and protective towards the weaker.
The same situation plays out between a woman and a child. If a child gets physical, a woman cannot retaliate physically without it being unfair. The man have that same situation with women. If a woman hits him, he can’t hit back because the difference in strength makes the battle unfair.
So, although there are many men who claim victimhood to get ahead, it is more women who do it.
Many have learned to use the skill of manipulation to control their surroundings and make everyone do what they want.
A female manipulator raises her voice to attract attention. A woman who screams is usually considered a victim by default. A female manipulator will pretend to be weak if she wants a man or a system to protect and defend her. Many female psychopaths are known for their tears, and many men still think female tears are evidence of her needing protection. They act on male protective instincts. Unfortunately, people still have the assumption that if a woman cries, she must be the victim of the situation. Women also do this to other women.
Although this is not the case with all women, women who claim victimhood wrongly are a huge societal problem.
Whoever they hurt or harm, they hurry, taking on the role of a defenseless victim to get protection. The roles are switched, and the victim is considered the perpetrator. A man is often defenseless in such a situation because, being the weaker gender, any doubt usually benefits the woman. Many men have been unrightfully judged because of it.
The whole world paid close attention to a trial between two Hollywood actors. Both claimed to be victims of the other. The trial received a lot of attention because most people have seen how many women win the credibility contest against men just because they are the weaker gender. Because they cry and are emotional. The hatred the female in this case received was part of a male uprising, men that had been silenced. Thousands of men all over the world told their stories of how they did not stand a chance against a woman’s lies because the woman was always believed. Countless stories come from abused men who cannot fight back and must live with a woman being considered their victim. For the first time in the public eye, the female manipulator and all her traits became obvious to the viewer. And many men, who knew they could never win in their situation, felt a sense of justice when the man in the trial won. This was because this type of situation normally never goes in the man’s favor, and if there had not been tape recordings exposing her, it would probably not have gone in this man’s favor either. The weight of evidence usually rests on a man when there is an accusation between a couple. In a relationship, a man is often guilty until proven innocent, while a woman is innocent until proven guilty. This is the reality of many men’s struggles, and male victims rarely receive kindness.
Although many women manipulate, it is a problem seen among both genders. There are so many that choose, once they have afflicted another harm or manipulation, victimhood, and people are left confused as to who the real victim is. This confusion leads people to be reluctant to take sides, and the real victim is left with the abuser. Or the victim is denied help and sympathy.
Narcissistic people typically afflict harm; when confronted, they hurry and take a victim role until they have received support, and once people withdraw, they are free to continue the abuse. The true victim has learned that speaking up or seeking help will only empower the narcissist and further harm them, and so they remain in their grip in a «learned helplessness» condition.
It is therefore important for Christians who are told to free the oppressed to understand and learn the difference between a real victim and someone using victimhood to control their surroundings.
A real victim can use fear to try to control their surroundings. The fear of abandonment, the fear of not being cared for or heard. However, even if someone is a victim, this is not a healthy way to live or receive attention.
Someone who claims victimhood to get advantages is growing in society. In the US, we see examples of women claiming to have black ancestry when they do not. Women who claim to have Native American ancestry when they do not. Alicia Esteve Head was infamously known for being a 911 survivor, but later it was proven she was not even there when the terror happened. She managed to become president of a large survivor group before everything was exposed. So, those claiming false heritage gained position and power from their claims.
Mostly women have been seen making these victimhood claims to gain something. Desiring the rights and sympathy given to the minority, fighting against a non-existing claim of oppression (in their lives) empowers them. If they are victims, they feel they can control what others say and do.
To explain it simply: victimhood gives power to the manipulator, but victimhood is disempowering for the real victim. It has two different manifestations and results.
Another group constantly claiming victimhood is the LGBTQIA+ community. They have indeed suffered discrimination in society. But many groups have. Being misgendered is considered a great offense, yet they label other people against their will with no problem. The double standard of this community is visible to anyone with a sense of justice and logic. Their rights are usually to deprive others of their rights. Their identity wants recognition at the cost of others’ identities.
Many in this community are real victims of abuse. But they have taken their unresolved issues, made public false imagery of their traumas, and demanded the world revolve around their needs. The issue with this community’s claimed victimhood is that it is suppressive towards others.
The typical trait of those who use victimhood to control their surroundings.
Therefore, we can see who the weak and broken are that we are to help by how someone expresses their victimhood and their demand. The fruit exposes the tree.
If we side with someone who claims victimhood and uses it to suppress other people’s rights, we are not doing God’s bidding, even if that person is a victim. We are to help victims heal, not to help them pay their trauma forward or continue the abuse they have suffered from new victims. We need to know the difference.
If a victim is driven by contempt for others’ worth to achieve goals and to control others to go against their conscience, you can be sure it is not your Christian duty to help them.
A real victim can be confused and on the wrong mission. Many victims are genuinely confused. A victim, whether it is real or not, should not control others. A real victim is motivated by fear, and a false victim is motivated by the desire to control others. And both fear and the desire for control can manifest in the same way. Because victimhood is toxic for both the victim and their surroundings, fighting for people’s right to remain in victimhood is damaging. This is not kindness, and it is not Christianity. Empowering people in a healthy way is helping them out of victimhood.
We are not to take sides with whoever cries the loudest; not every victim’s quest is justified by their being a victim. We are to be fair and fight for what is good.
Everyone knows that many victims become abusers. To be a victim is not to be holy. A victim should not be sided with, no matter what. Many victims are bad people, intentionally and unintentionally.
When a victim does something wrong, it has to be called wrong. When a perpetrator does something right, it is still right. We must never confuse right and wrong. If someone dislikes another, they can usually do nothing right in their eyes. Likewise, when someone loves another, they can do no wrong.
This should not be a Christian way of viewing life and people. A good deed is good, and a bad deed is bad, regardless of who does it. It is the act itself that is either good or bad. The bad person may have bad intentions when doing a good act. But if he feeds someone who is starving, it does not really matter if he is good or bad. The starving being fed is still a good act.
If a good Christian spreads false rumors and ruins someone’s reputation, it is not relevant whether he has done many good deeds or held many good sermons. The wrongful act is not made holy because he or she is genuinely a nice person.
By judging this way, justice is blinded and twisted, and people feel they can weigh up their bad deeds with their good deeds. A path that will leave us doomed in the courts of heaven.
Satan uses our faulty understanding to his advantage by having bad people do good things and tempting good people to do bad things. In this way, he can confuse good and bad. He would even assist and make sure that a bad person has money to do good charity if it could cause confusion. Satan blesses pastors and priests who lie and harm, just to cause confusion. Is God blessing evil? Is he siding with those who hurt us? Never, but it can seem that way for many years until real justice comes.
When we do not deal with our sins the right way, it will not work in the long run. We can call good evil and evil good for a while, but time will expose the truth in the end.
God warned: “Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!” (Isa. 5:20.)
There is no blessing in choosing what appears to be the «easy way out». The only way to atone for sin is through the merits of Christ, through the heavenly priestly sanctuary system. Sin must be admitted, addressed, and called by its right name. There is no «jumping the fence» to get a free pass.
We need to humble ourselves to be lifted.
In society today, many parents are failing their children because of the constant pursuit of careers, money, and new love affairs. When a natural abandonment response is seen in the child, they try to diagnose their child with a behavior problem instead of addressing their selfishness. A selfish parent would rather have a diagnosis that stigmatizes their child, than admit their fault or allow abuse to become known.
It has become almost an epidemic in the West that neglected, and abused children are viewed as mentally ill. Even in nuclear families, victim roles are switched. In all parts of society, we see people not taking accountability and instead blaming the victim or switching roles.
Satan is ruining families, and he is ruining children.
People cannot seem to handle guilt in a healthy way anymore, which is why assuming victimhood has become so popular. A real victim is suppressed by victimhood and desires freedom for themselves; a manufactured victim uses victimhood to suppress and control others.
Learning the difference is essential to helping the real victims, and there are a growing number of them.
A good understanding of these things can liberate the real oppressed. To help them differentiate, to know their worth, and to help them understand God is not behind any of the wrongful acts committed against them.